“You have a need for other people to like and admire you, and yet you tend to be critical of yourself. I sense that sometimes you are insecure especially with people you don’t know. While you have some personality weaknesses you are generally able to compensate for them. You have considerable unused capacity that you have not turned to your advantage. You’re having problems with a friend or relative. At times you have serious doubts whether you have made the right decision or done the right things. You have a box of old, unsorted photographs in your house. Disciplined and self-controlled on the outside, you tend to be worrisome and insecure on the inside. You prefer a certain amount of change and clarity and become dissatisfied when hemmed in by restrictions and limitations. You also pride yourself as an independent thinker and do not accept others’ statements without satisfactory proof. But you have found it unwise to be frank in revealing yourself to others. At times you are extroverted, affable and sociable, while at other times you are introverted, wary and reserved. Some of your aspirations tend to be rather unrealistic.”
Am I right? Did you recognise yourself in the above description?
Am I right? Did you recognise yourself in the above description?
These statements may appear as if they were especially prepared for you alone but if you re-read the paragraph you may find that most of the statements are open-ended, providing some wriggle room for those who seek connections with their own personalities. Most people fail to see that these type of statements could actually apply to almost anyone. This is known as the Barnum Effect and it is a type of subjective validation.
As humans we are designed to look for interconnections, for links and meaning – and we find it. We strive to find meaning or significance, where there may be none at all. Do you watch ‘Deal or no Deal’? Do you really think that number 22 is the ‘Deathbox’? That because you brought a box to the table that means something to you, such as your birthdate, you are going to win big. Yet, in reality you may be experiencing selective memory, only remembering the times when the number was successful and not those (probably numerous) times when it wasn’t. The game is completely random.
We are very good at relating things to ourselves, in fact it is one of the differences that separate us from all other creatures. By being programmed to find patterns, links and pictures from a collection of (perhaps) random items can lead us to behave in quite an irrational manner. Our desire to find meaning, pattern and significance can be very powerful and as much as it is required for our survival – we need to watch for those times when we are creating meaning rather than observing it.
Have you ever behaved irrationally due to the significance you placed on something? Do you always use the same numbers on the lottery because you believe those numbers to be lucky? Do you carry a lucky charm?