The Behaviour Effect

I had a really interesting conversation with a man who is in the building trade the other evening.  First of all he reckoned that his line of wouldn’t benefit from my type of skills.  After he told me this story, he agreed that people are people no matter what industry they work in and that we actually think the same way.

He said that the way he manages his staff is based on his observations of two foremen that he worked with when he was learning his trade.  His story was so simple yet so insightful…that I thought I would tell it again here…and let you decide which foreman you want to be…

Foreman A was always shouting at his staff, never provided any encouragement and never recognised the hard work being done by his staff.

As a result the man I was speaking to told me that he would never go out of his way for that foreman.  That he would have left him standing alone rather than help him out.  He didn’t like him.

Foreman B regularly praised his staff.  He took time to explain tasks when necessary and provided opportunities to learn new skills.  He spent time with his staff, working along-side them.

As a result, I was told that ‘backs would be broke’ making sure you did a good job for Foreman B.  That he ‘wanted’ to do a good job and would put himself out just to do a good job.  He liked him.

The guy I was talking to said he decided to be Foreman B, because that’s the type of person he wanted to be and thats’ the type of workforce he wanted to have.  He told me that the difference it has made to his business is huge.

Seems common sense?  Pretty obvious story eh?  What results do you want?  Are you being the type of Foreman that will glean those results?

Today is ‘National Sickie Day’, a day in which it is estimated that 350,000 workers will take a sickie.  This will cost businesses more than £30 million in lost business opportunities, reduced productivity and salary/overtime payments.

A survey by Employment Law Advisory Services (ELAS), shows that of the 1,500 bosses interviewed for the nationwide survey,  half said they did not believe staff who complained of being ill.  So why do they phone in sick and feel comfortable claiming illness not to go into work?

It could be any number of reasons and managers need to find out what those reasons are if they are to actually  ‘manage’ their staff.  All too often managers feel that their staff should not take advantage simply because they pay them a wage but there’s much more to it than that.  If you are a manager, when was the last time you pulled a sickie?  Why did you?

Staff pull sickies, not just because they are taking advantage and want an extra day off but also because they are either unhappy in their workplace or something has happened at home that needs dealt with.

We need to be making the most out of our staff, especially now when the economic situation in still on a knife edge and we may well have had to cut costs by cutting the number of people we employ.  If business is to grow again we need to ensure our staff our productive and going the extra mile…not just doing enough or working to rule.

So what do we do to lower the number of staff who pull a sickie?

Employee engagement is vital if we are to make the most of our staff.  Engagement means that staff are committed to your organisation and they are aligned.  In other words, do they care about their work and do they know what their responsibilties are and how they fit with the wider organisation.  So how do we engage our staff?

First of all, in order to understand the behaviour of others you need to understand their motives, needs and desires.  The only way of finding out this information is to ask them, on a regular and consistent basis. Appraisals and regular update meetings can be the perfect opportunity to discover what makes your staff tick.  How many of you are getting the benefits ofappraisal though…and how many of you dread them coming?

Do your staff know what is expected of them?  Have you provided detail about what their responsibilities are and the impact of them not completing their jobs correctly is?  Do they have job description?  Do you keep them informed of company performance?

Are staff trusted?  Think of the last time someone gave you work and then watched over your shoulder as you completed it…feel like they trusted you to do a good job?  Ok so, their capability will affect how much support you give them, but do you consider how capable they are and behave accordingly?

Do you communicate openly and with transparancy?  It’s important to keep everyone in the loop or you will be dealing with gossip and rumour.  Neither helpful and certainly not easy to correct once rife.

What’s the atmosphere like in your teams.  If there are personality clashes or unhealthy competition, this could be a reason staff take a sickie.  Maybe they just can’t deal with the relationships prevalent in the office anymore.

Are you flexible about work hours?  If one of your staff has a burst pipe, would they ring and explain what has happened and know that you understand it needs sorted or would they ring in a sickie because you would insist on them coming into work?

Have you built loyalty in your staff by supporting them, providing them with development opportunities and career progression?  If you haven’t then why would your staff go the extra mile for you?  The last time you went out of your way for someone…why did you do that?  Your staff have the same motivation needs as you.

Finally, the biggest influence on whether your staff will pull a sickie is their relationship with you.  If you care about your staff and build rapport with them, they are more likely to go the extra for you, and less likely to take advantage.

If you are the type to crawl into work no matter what state you are in…why do you do that?  If you have built  engagement into your organisations culture then you won’t be wondering where your staff are today.

Ever been in an environment which has influenced your behaviour?  Gotten carried away with the crowd?  Elvis who would have celebrated his 75th birthday last Friday, 8th January certainly witnessed those that were influenced and mos certainly did get carried away!

In the 1950’s frenzied and fevered were words frequently used to describe the groups of people (mainly women) who went to watch Elvis sing…. and of course gyrate his hips.  Scenes of hysteria and complete abandon were common place.  When Elvis walked on stage, women screamed, fainted, cried, shrieked and wet their pants.  The result was often so hysterical that the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, the National Guard, State Police and the City Police couldn’t contain those involved.  On a number of occasions Elvis had to stop the show!

Think it was hysteria?

The emotional attachment to Elvis is so strong that 30 years after his death, the sale of iconic images related to the King increases each year.  At Elvis’ home in Graceland, millions of ‘pilgrims’ (mostly female and middle aged) go to Locus Sanctus, the holy place, to mourn his death, lay wreaths and hold vigils.  In fact the behaviour in relation to his memory is such that two woman have founded the "Church of the Risen Elvis".  One of the women saying that images of Elvis "…have transcended the representational and move to the sacred".  Before his death, women even brought their sick children to his concerts in the hope that he would touch them and be healed.

Why is this?  Seems a bit extreme?

From the very beginning , the phenomenon of Elvis broke through the boundaries of ordinary fan adoration and lead the way to the "Beatlemania" which would hit America later.  Elvis’ blood and urine was stolen and sold with tales of how young women desperately wanted to inject the blood of their hero in to their own veins, women moving country just to tend to his grave or carving his name into their skin with penknives.  These behaviour are not normal reactions to singers or even fame, they move quite clearly across to myth and rituals.

Elvis was at the forefront of many controversial debates regarding teenage behaviour and rock and roll.  He was regarded by some as the blame for juvenile delinquency and the corruption of youth.  Perhaps when the behaviour of his audiences were witnessed by those not within the Elvis fan group, it can be understood (though this understanding does not mean that they were right).  The frenzied behaviour became more and more common and increasingly violent.  Did you know that Elvis received death threats and rampaging crowds often turned into riots?

Some psychologists believe that Elvis provided a rite of passage for girls into womanhood.  The sexual frenzy that Elvis created (we all know how conservative America reacted to his hips movements) provided an outlet that wasn’t previously available especially to women.  The fantasized relationship with Elvis taught them about their sexual liberty.  Add to that the way people behave when in groups….mob rule…heightened excitement…attention grabbing…screaming…  and the pieces of Elvis hysteria becomes more clear.

The group or social hysteria related to Elvis is similar in many ways to the Salem witch trials.  The groups’ behaviour was extreme and as it became more so…it became a vicious circle.  In a Elvis concert with screaming fans, you’d describe the atmosphere as ‘electric’…you’d get caught up in it.  Even if you weren’t caught up in it you probably wouldn’t want ot admit that you didn’t agree.

More recently, the invasion of Iraq had elements of social hysteria.   The 9/11 event created a fear and elevated Saddam Hussein to a witch-like mythical figure who was about to ‘press the button’ on the West.   No one (or few) questioned whether this was realistic…and many didn’t question because it would not have been welcomed.  Imagine the reaction if you questioned how evil you thought Iraq was.   Look back now – was it a sort of social hysteria?

In truth hysteria is a result of human psychology, local events, religious beliefs, economic and social situation and the political situation.   Take a moment to think how popular Elvis would have been without the outcry from those with conservative religious beliefs…or if sexual liberation for women had already happened….

Laughing lowers levels of stress hormones and strengthens the immune system. Six-year-olds laugh an average of 300 times a day. Adults only laugh 15 to 100 times a day. The first laughter appears at about 3.5 to 4 months of age, long before we’re able to speak.  Laughter, like crying, is a way for an infant to interact with the caregivers.

Like smiling we don’t have to learn how to laugh, we just do. We’re born with the capacity to laugh.  But we cannot just decide to laugh, its very hard to laugh on command or to fake it.  A bit like a fake smile, a fake laugh can be detected quite easily by another person….and for anyone that has tried to stop laughing or hide an ‘inappropriate’ laugh in a meeting…you’ll know how difficult that can be!

Are you known for your laugh?  Whilst living in the Halls of Residence at University, I wondered why folk from the floor below always seemed to appear on our floor about 10 minutes after I arrived.  Mentioning their impeccable timing I asked how they knew when we all had arrived.  Their answer?  We know everyone is here because we can hear you laughing.  Mild embarrassment at how loudly I must have been laughing quickly moved aside at the marvellous thought that it was the sound of laughter that drew folk in….that encouraged others to join us.  And as aware as I am at how my voice travels…though now it’s in office buildings rather than Halls of Residence…I am rather pleased that it’s the sound of laughter that tells someone I am there.

When we do laugh, it’s powerful, bubbling up from within us…yet very little is understood about why we laugh or what makes us laugh.  What I find amusing may not be what you find amusing…and laughter can be triggered by sensations, thoughts, or even just certain situations will give us the giggles. When we laugh, we alter our facial expressions and make sounds, some of which we wish we didn’t (says the occasional snorter!!).   In full flow our whole body gets involved, shoulders shake, arms & legs move….our breathing changes.

So why?  Why do we laugh?

Well, you may be surprised to learn that it is less about funny and humour and more about relationships with other people.  When was the last time you laughed?  Was it at a joke or was it at a statement or observation that if you described it now, wouldn’t seem funny to someone else?  People laugh at an incredibly wide selection of interactions, observations and statements.  And many times we laugh at ‘in’ jokes….jokes that are understood as amusing because you are a member of a particular group

These curious “ha ha ha’s” are bits of social glue that bond relationships.  And curiously we rarely laugh when we are alone (even less than we talk to ourselves) which seem to indicate that laughter is a message we send to other people.

Laughter is social and contagious. Hearing someone else laugh often causes us to laugh ourselves.  Many comedy programmes utilise this knowledge by adding laughter tracks.  Not sure if you’re favourite comedy has a laughter track?  That’s because you are laughing along to it.  Quite often if the laughter track is missing we don’t find the programme half as funny.

We laugh at the sound of laughter itself.  When one person starts laughing….suddenly everyone ‘catches’ it.  That’s why the Tickle Me Elmo doll is such a success — it makes us laugh and smile.

When we laugh, we’re often communicating playful intent. So laughter has a bonding function within individuals in a group. It’s often positive, but it can be negative too. There’s a difference between “laughing with” and “laughing at.” And I am positive that all of us has experienced both examples.  People who laugh at others may be trying to force them to conform or casting them out of the group.

This blog started with a statement saying that adults laugh less than children.  As adults, do you think we have less to laugh at…too many responsibilities…too many worries…  Adults play less and laugh less.  Think that’s healthy?  Playing less means we lose some of our creativity, but it also means we lose out on opportunities to bond with others. What effect do you think that’s having on our lives?  I’ve even experienced people trying to stop me laughing because they think I am drawing attention to myself or more importantly to them…when they prefer to be seen and not heard.  How sad is it that laughter is reigned in….muffled…constrained?  Surely it is better to nourish laughter, especially when times are tough.

Next time you are trying to hide that giggle…send it out there….let someone else enjoy the joke…release those feel-good endorphins in your brain…relieve a little of that stress you feel….let go….lose control….you’ll be surprised at how fantastic it feels!

Speaking to a group of folk at a recent networking event, the subject of Body Language popped up.  The subject of non-verbal communciation quite often arises in situations where I’m explaining what I do for gainful employment…and helping others see the importance of understanding human behaviour.  How it arises? Normally, when I say I’m an Occupational Psychologist, someone will make a comment such as ’so do you know what I’m thinking then?’.

Such comments are normally quite light-hearted (perhaps folk think I won’t have heard that particular ‘joke’ before!) and I have a range of ’stock’ answers for certain situations….

e.g. being chatted up by unwanted attention?

answer: “Yes, and it’s not pretty”, “No because I am truly not interested” or “No, that would make me a psychic!”

In this particular situation the conversation veered towards ‘reading’ people’s body language.  Immediately upon hearing me say that you can pick up quite a lot of interesting and important extra information by paying attention to the non-verbals…a lady commented that she doesn’t completely think it’s true as she often stands with her arms crossed…and she knows that is seen as ‘closed’ behaviour….but she claimed that she was simply comfortable like that and it was often the stance she took.

Before I continue to explain what might be happening in the circumstance she described…I feel the need to state that the dismissal of any theory or research due to a lack of understanding of one small element…is probably not the most effective way forward…but I’m being minorly pedantic so I’ll stop and get back to body language!

I believed her when she said she was comfortable standing like that…I don’t doubt she was.  I do doubt she knew the exact reason she was standing like that.  As it’s her ‘normal’ stance then the movement is probably involuntary, or habitual.  My first comment to her and the others standing in our group was that ‘crossing your arms’ is an often cited example of body language but one of the most important points to note about reading body language is to never take any one action alone.  It is necessary to read body language as a whole and not place meaning on an individual action.  If someone is facing away from you…but their feet are pointing directly towards you…it is necessary to take these actions together…and pay attention to any other actions happening.

Usually,when someone crosses their arms, it means that they’re closed for arguments.  They have placed a barrier between themselves and the rest of the world as a means of protection from others.  Protection from words, remarks and glances not simply physical attack.

Another possibility for crossing arms may be that they”re feeling vulnerable or insecure. Crossing your arms is like giving yourself a hug, it’s a comforting gesture.

In both of these meanings, the purpose of crossing your arms is that you feel more in control and are protected in your surroundings.  If you have developed a habit of this particular gesture….it is possible that you don’t realise the reason and think that it is simply the way you normally stand.  In fact the one thing I would expect is  that the person crossing their arms do indeed feel much more comfortable, because their body language matches their emotional state.  In fact the whole point to crossing your arms is to feel more comfortable.  How other’s feel in their company however, or why they are performing the action…may vary.

Remember though, that body signals must always be validated by other body signals. So, if the legs are crossed as well, and the person looks away… then its probably safe to make the assumption that the person’s mind is firmly shut!

Oh and don’t forget the context.  It could just be the cold.  Crossing your arms is an action we undertake when we are cold.  Double check for pulled up shoulders…also an indicator of being cold…or take note of the temperature in the area…

What happens when your body language contradicts what you’re saying?  People may not be able to explain why they believe/disbelieve the words because often these ques are completely unconsious…but they WILL believe the body language!

How does this change your understanding of the behaviour of others?  Your reaction to others?  Their reaction to you?

Most reading this post will know the difference between a ‘genuine’ smile and a ‘fake’ smile.  If it’s genuine then you see it in their eyes.   The famous Mona Lisa’s enigmatic smile is more obvious if you just look at the eyes, which is in part the reason it is seen as enigmatic.  But confidence plays an important role as well.

In ‘Behind the Mask’ I spoke of how we all put a mask on to hide our true feelings.  One of the most commonly used masks is the smile.  Unfortunately, a genuine smile is difficult to replicate at the best of times but even harder when we are lacking in some confidence.  Ever get nervous and anxious…and feel the muscles in your face tighten?  As we desperately try to keep the mask up we gradually lose control over our facial muscles and a ‘genuine’ smile becomes impossible.  And sometimes…the muscles start to twitch uncontrollably!  Sound familiar?

If we can’t demonstrate confidence and control our facial expression, then we make it much more difficult for others to pick up on signals and react appropriately.  We will appear closed off and defensive and others will not trust  us.  So what can we do to control this behaviour?

Firstly we need to relax.  Relax our minds and our facial muscles.  If you are nervous about a presentation or an entrance into a room, think of something else, something that makes you smile naturally. Even try some facial exercises to loosen up those muscles.  Most of all, have confidence in yourself, as this will naturally shine through.

And ladies…be cautious about smiling too much…it may affect your credibility and whether you are taken seriously….in research it was discovered that a woman who smiles alot will be perceived as warm and friendly but trying too hard.  A man smiling the same amount? Warm and friendly.

How does smiling affect your attitude?  Your behaviour?  How does smiling make a difference to the way people behave towards you?

Do you rememeber being told by the teacher in school to sit on your hand and to face the front?

Have you ever wanted to scream ‘Look at me when I’m talking to you!’ to someone who doesn’t appear to be paying attention?

A study by Doherty-Sneddon tells us that teacher interpret gaze aversion as an indication of less understanding, less interest and that the child is no longer thinking about the problem.  They say that this is completely incorrect!

When bombarded with so much visual information, looking away can actually help concentration.  Research shows that encouraging five-year-olds to look away can improve their performance on challenging yet solvable questions.

How do you behave when considering a problem or trying to understand a piece of information?  I know I tend to look up and away from the source when I’m pondering as I find anything in my line of vision distracting.  If someone stops making eye contact with you, what are your assumptions about their thoughts?

Next time you are conveying information, take note of where the recipients gaze is….and be aware of how you interpret it!