The Behaviour Effect

What happens when a task is to be completed and you are the best qualified, most experienced, best-informed person to complete that task?  You complete the task.  Seems logical doesn’t it?  When delegating tasks you naturally assess the skill required for the task and choose the person best suited to complete it.  Ok, you take into consideration development needs and time available but do you take anything else into consideration?

If you know you are the best person for the job at hand, do you ever ask others for their advice?

Behavioural scientist Patrick Laughlin have shown that the approaches and outcomes of groups that work together are better than the average member working alone but also….better than the group’s best member working alone!

Input from others can stimlate the thinking process.  Ever heard a comment someone has made which has ignited an idea in your mind? The insight may have been delivered by you but the spark…that was created by someone else.  We are all aware of the importance and value of having a sounding board but do we all take advantage of it?

Seeking input from your colleagues will not only encourage creativity and parallel processing but will create a better team environment as well.  Asking for input from others and valuing that input – whether you use the input or not – will build closer relationships and better rapport.

So next time you are the best person for the job – ask for help and suggestions – you’ll achieve more and gain more than better outcomes for the current task.

Female 1 “Those shoes are gorgeous, they look great on you!”

Female 2 “Oh gosh, they are ancient, paid almost nothing for them in a sale…see how the heel needs touching up”

Does this interaction sound familiar?

When did we lose the ability to accept compliments?  Did we ever?  When receiving positive feedback we all too often assume that the person is ‘just being nice’, they are pitying us or they are trying to get into our ‘good books’.

According to psychologist Phillip Hodson, the British have never known how to take a compliment because it goes against our need to be modest, or at least appear to be modest.  How many of us wear raised on sarcasm, sibling teasing or ‘ribbing’ from school mates?  From an early age we are told not to boast about ourselves for fear of appearing arrogant.

Were you at a Halloween Party?  Was it a costume party? Did you wear a mask?

Personally I can’t stand masks.  I’ve always had a bit of a fear of someone in a mask.  Very disconcerting I think.   Not being able to see the facial expression.  Or work out what the person is thinking or feeling.  My friends thought me highly amusing as I cringed and switched the TV programme over when Bo Selecta came on.  I just didn’t find him funny.  And it wasn’t the humour, it was the mask.  I just couldn’t get past the fact that I couldnt see what his face was saying.

How did you feel in your mask for Halloween?  Did you feel like a different person?  Did you enjoy having a different persona for the evening?  How did you feel speaking to people who were wearing masks?

In actual fact, we all wear masks everyday.  Not plastic physical masks but the ’social mask’ that hides our true feelings or thoughts.  We have the ‘professional mask’ we wear at work….not wanting to provide many clues as to how we are feeling in case our colleagues think less of us, or believe that we cannot be competent due to other factors.  We put up a pretense that all is good so that others will not get the ‘wrong’ idea.  In the Johari window our facade is a section of ourselves that we know but other’s don’t.  This is the section, which encourages us to engage in games-playing, trickery, and the like.  The larger this section, the less chance we have of developing truly meaningful and open relationships with others because such relationships are usually based heavily on trust.  Here, the hidden agenda resides.

Do other people’s masks work or do you instinctively know they are hiding something or telling ‘white lies’?

Obviously we need to provide a certain level of professionalism in our work life but if we continuously hide behind a mask then how are others to know anything real about us.  We know that understanding each others stresses and strains can make for a more beneficial relationship yet we are scared to reveal this side of us.  We cry ‘Noone understands!’.  We dislike the assumptions people make about us.  Does wearing our professionalism mask prevent others from correctly dealing with us?

Are there people in your life who you would really love to know better?  Do you ever wish that someone would drop the mask so that you knew what was really going on?  How would our behaviour change if we all dropped our masks?