The Behaviour Effect

Laughing lowers levels of stress hormones and strengthens the immune system. Six-year-olds laugh an average of 300 times a day. Adults only laugh 15 to 100 times a day. The first laughter appears at about 3.5 to 4 months of age, long before we’re able to speak.  Laughter, like crying, is a way for an infant to interact with the caregivers.

Like smiling we don’t have to learn how to laugh, we just do. We’re born with the capacity to laugh.  But we cannot just decide to laugh, its very hard to laugh on command or to fake it.  A bit like a fake smile, a fake laugh can be detected quite easily by another person….and for anyone that has tried to stop laughing or hide an ‘inappropriate’ laugh in a meeting…you’ll know how difficult that can be!

Are you known for your laugh?  Whilst living in the Halls of Residence at University, I wondered why folk from the floor below always seemed to appear on our floor about 10 minutes after I arrived.  Mentioning their impeccable timing I asked how they knew when we all had arrived.  Their answer?  We know everyone is here because we can hear you laughing.  Mild embarrassment at how loudly I must have been laughing quickly moved aside at the marvellous thought that it was the sound of laughter that drew folk in….that encouraged others to join us.  And as aware as I am at how my voice travels…though now it’s in office buildings rather than Halls of Residence…I am rather pleased that it’s the sound of laughter that tells someone I am there.

When we do laugh, it’s powerful, bubbling up from within us…yet very little is understood about why we laugh or what makes us laugh.  What I find amusing may not be what you find amusing…and laughter can be triggered by sensations, thoughts, or even just certain situations will give us the giggles. When we laugh, we alter our facial expressions and make sounds, some of which we wish we didn’t (says the occasional snorter!!).   In full flow our whole body gets involved, shoulders shake, arms & legs move….our breathing changes.

So why?  Why do we laugh?

Well, you may be surprised to learn that it is less about funny and humour and more about relationships with other people.  When was the last time you laughed?  Was it at a joke or was it at a statement or observation that if you described it now, wouldn’t seem funny to someone else?  People laugh at an incredibly wide selection of interactions, observations and statements.  And many times we laugh at ‘in’ jokes….jokes that are understood as amusing because you are a member of a particular group

These curious “ha ha ha’s” are bits of social glue that bond relationships.  And curiously we rarely laugh when we are alone (even less than we talk to ourselves) which seem to indicate that laughter is a message we send to other people.

Laughter is social and contagious. Hearing someone else laugh often causes us to laugh ourselves.  Many comedy programmes utilise this knowledge by adding laughter tracks.  Not sure if you’re favourite comedy has a laughter track?  That’s because you are laughing along to it.  Quite often if the laughter track is missing we don’t find the programme half as funny.

We laugh at the sound of laughter itself.  When one person starts laughing….suddenly everyone ‘catches’ it.  That’s why the Tickle Me Elmo doll is such a success — it makes us laugh and smile.

When we laugh, we’re often communicating playful intent. So laughter has a bonding function within individuals in a group. It’s often positive, but it can be negative too. There’s a difference between “laughing with” and “laughing at.” And I am positive that all of us has experienced both examples.  People who laugh at others may be trying to force them to conform or casting them out of the group.

This blog started with a statement saying that adults laugh less than children.  As adults, do you think we have less to laugh at…too many responsibilities…too many worries…  Adults play less and laugh less.  Think that’s healthy?  Playing less means we lose some of our creativity, but it also means we lose out on opportunities to bond with others. What effect do you think that’s having on our lives?  I’ve even experienced people trying to stop me laughing because they think I am drawing attention to myself or more importantly to them…when they prefer to be seen and not heard.  How sad is it that laughter is reigned in….muffled…constrained?  Surely it is better to nourish laughter, especially when times are tough.

Next time you are trying to hide that giggle…send it out there….let someone else enjoy the joke…release those feel-good endorphins in your brain…relieve a little of that stress you feel….let go….lose control….you’ll be surprised at how fantastic it feels!

Been watching the X factor? Have you noticed that X Factor contestants are more likely to get the boot if they sing near the start of the show.

Cambridge University academics compiled data from 150 editions of the X Factor and Pop Idol to prove the theory that a contestant’s fate does not boil down to whether they can sing.  This theory will more than likely not surprise any of you….but what did they find out?

In eight live X Factor shows this year, four singers were eliminated after being either the second or third act to perform, researchers said. When contestants sang later in the evening they were less likely to be eliminated.  He added that the first singer to perform in the X Factor is not at the greatest advantage, but less likely to be eliminated than those in second or third place.  Dr Lionel, who undertook the research with the University of London, said that none of the people who sang last on this year’s series of the X Factor had been eliminated.

What Dr Lionel is talking about is that fact that people tend to be biased when there is a sequence. You are influenced by the fact that you remember people depending on whether they were singing first or last.  And memory can have a huge effect on how we judge a performance.

So what can we take from this research?  Well, its the primacy and recency effect at work.  The psychologist Murdock completed research into these effects on memory, which he called the Serial Position Curve.  Or how well we remember items on a list is dependant on where they are placed on the list.

In the stage theory of memory, information goes through to our short term memory, if the information is not lost through decay or displacement then it goes into our long term memory.  The short term memory is widely regarded as havinga capacity of seven plus or minus two pieces of information.  The size of the pieces of information is not a factor, in fact, making these pieces of information larger (or ‘chunking’ as it is known in psychology) makes us able to remember much more information.  However, we are at this point talking about the positioning of information in a list. The theory behind the serial position curve is that people recall words better at the beginning or end of a wordlist. A better recall at the beginning is an example of the primacy effect whereas a better recall at the end is an example of the recency effect.

So what does this all mean to us I hear you cry??  Well, it can help us study and work better.  If we remember information better at the start and end of a list then we need to make the most of this knowledge.  When studying were you ever told to take regular breaks?  Did you do it?

Taking regular breaks is necessary so we are not overloaded with information but it also allows the primacy and recency effect to help our memory.  The more breaks, the more times the primacy and recency effect can help us remember.

Any other ways in which we can use these effects to our advantage?

Ever ask someone something and been answered ‘Probably’.  Not ‘yes’ or ‘no’ but ‘probably’.  What were your expectations?  What assumptions did you make?  How likely is it that you will get what you asked?  During training sessions I have often asked the group to write down what percentage likelyhood is attached to the word ‘probably’.  I have gotten anything from probably means something is 20% likely to happen (I fear this person has been disappointed often in life!) to 99%.

What is your understanding of the word ‘probably’?  Think it’s the same as your colleagues?  Ever checked?

Our understanding of words is impacted by the society we live in, our families…our workplaces…and ourselves.  Often we use language that seems to be understandable but have elements of flexibility in their meaning.  However, the consequences of this can be wide ranging.  You hear ‘probably’ and you assume that its more likely than not to happen but perhaps the person delivering the message had a different understanding of the word?

What about the line ‘I’m almost finished’? What does that mean?  How close to being finished is the person saying this?  What about ‘Not very often’?  How many times is ‘not very often’?

So much of our everyday language is non-exact.  We believe we know the meaning because they are familiar words but do we understand them int he same way other people do.  When we are providing instructions and giving feedback, it is vital that we are understood, in fact communication of any kind does not exist without understanding.

What happened the last time you misunderstood a message because of the language that was used?  How do you prevent someone misunderstanding what you mean?

WATCH POINT – Do you use ‘As soon as possible’ at the bottom of emails?  What does that mean? As soon as possible to you may not be the same as for the person you are sending it to.  They may prioritise differently to you.  If you need something completed quickly, but a deadline.  That was your communication is clear and expectations are managed!!

Female 1 “Those shoes are gorgeous, they look great on you!”

Female 2 “Oh gosh, they are ancient, paid almost nothing for them in a sale…see how the heel needs touching up”

Does this interaction sound familiar?

When did we lose the ability to accept compliments?  Did we ever?  When receiving positive feedback we all too often assume that the person is ‘just being nice’, they are pitying us or they are trying to get into our ‘good books’.

According to psychologist Phillip Hodson, the British have never known how to take a compliment because it goes against our need to be modest, or at least appear to be modest.  How many of us wear raised on sarcasm, sibling teasing or ‘ribbing’ from school mates?  From an early age we are told not to boast about ourselves for fear of appearing arrogant.

Two men at a seminar.  One returns to his seat to find the other man sitting there. They insult each other. Throw coffee and water over each other. Then resort to pushing and punching.   Police called.  Men arrested.  Courtroom battle ensues.

This is a true story in the news today!

Witnesses claim that it was the original owner of the seat that was the aggressor in terms of the way he spoke to the other man.  Yet, noone has mentioned that the act of taking someone else’s seat is in itself an act of aggression.  Obviously there is no excuse for either verbal or physical abuse but how can such a seemingly simply act of taking a seat, when there are 100’s free, cause such uproar?  Surely, he should just have taken another seat if his was now occupied?  Why did he react with such anger? There may be other factors at play, perhaps the man who had his seat stolen was irritable for others reasons, perhaps his emotions were already pricked.  Yet it was the act of his seat being taken that made him explode.

As humans, we can be very protective of our territory.  Even when we ‘hot desk’ in the workplace, people tend to sit down at the same place every day.  Do you hot desk? Ever came into work and there was someone sitting in your usual spot?  How did you feel?

What does this mean for workplace dynamics?  How can we ensure people do not feel usurped?