The Behaviour Effect

Relaxation is not something that many of us find easy.  When was the last time you were truly at ease with relaxed muscles and general feeling of calm, both physically and mentally?

You’ll all be well aware of the flight or fight mechanism that kicks in when we are under threat or stress.  We automatically (in an evolutionary effort of self-preservation) become more alert and more ready and efficient at responding to whatever we are faced with.  Many of those who perform on stage say that without those pre-show butterflies they would not be able to put on an engaging performance.  I’ve even heard some say that if those feelings stopped they’d stop performing.

But what happens when that feeling lasts for a prolonged period of time?

Part of the flight or fight mechanism involves muscle tightening and if the tension is prolonged our muscles never deactivate from that state.  Eventually it becomes incredibly difficult to notice when the tension is there as you become used to that feeling.  After a while you don’t even associate it with stress.  You may be jumpy, irritable, nervous.  You may be more likely to worry excessively and even develop physical symptoms, such as backache or headaches.  Constant tension can make you over-sensitive to even small happenings in our lives.  Ever been on the go continuously and then when you stop…feel the pain of tiredness… or even worse, find you develop a cold or become ill?  It happens more often than we think.  You take that much needed holiday only to find 3 days in your body decides its had enough?

So how do we relax?

First of all we need to realise that we are indeed tense. Then we need to actively complete steps in order to relax.  You may have a variety of methods of relaxation, below is a description of Isometric Relaxation for you to try.   Remember in order to feel the true benefit of this exercise you may have to do it several times a day in order to counteract the tension and maintain a relaxed state.  Eventually it may become a habit they you automatically apply when feeling tense.

When sitting or lying down in private

• Take a small breath and hold it for up to seven seconds
• At the same time, straighten arms and legs out in front of you and stiffen all muscles in the body
• After seven seconds, breath out and slowly say the word ‘relax’ to yourself
• Let all the tension go from your muscles
• Close your eyes
• For the next minute, each time you breathe out say the word ‘relax’ to yourself and let all the tension flow out of your muscles
• Repeat if necessary until you feel relaxed

How many of us speak before we think?

It is true to say that we all say things without first thinking them through. Ever answered an employee’s question only taking that individual employee into consideration and not the very likely probability that, that same employee may recount the conversation to others?

Gerald Ratner had makes jokes about his merchandise previously, just provoking friendly laughter but he didn’t consider the breadth of his audience during a speach to 6000 fellow members of the Institute of Directors in 1991.  He claimed that his stores sold earrings for under a pound, which is cheaper than a prawn sandwich from Marks & Spencer – but probably won’t last as long!  Not content with this he went on to describe his sherry decanters as ‘crap’.

The result? In two minutes the reputation of a company was in tatters, £500 million was wiped from its stock exchange value, Gerald Ratner personally lost £6 million and his £600,000 a year job and the company had to rebrand to try and save themselves from total disaster.

Clearly Ratner did not consider his audience, in particular the fact that the Daily Mirror were present.  When speaking to others we are often thinking of how we will answer them instead of listening carefully to what is being said.  We also, occasionally become so embroiled in what we are doing that we forget the outside world.  We are told that our brain thinks four times faster than we speak….so we use that time to consider what we will say next.  We should be listening to what is being said and considering our reply in relation to not only the current conversation but also in how it will be perceived by others.   If Ratner had taken his audience into consideration, had thought through who was listening and who would potentially hear his comments….he may not have been so quick to make his flip remark.

Learning point – always consider your audience, both immediate and future….and use that wonderful extra thinking time wisely!