The Behaviour Effect

Ever put something off until tomorrow?  It is a fact that we tend to put off those things which have a negative emotion attached to them.  Perhaps the task at hand is ‘too hard’, will ‘take too long’, is too ‘boring’ or requires ‘too much effort’.  Twenty percent of people identify themselves as chronic procrastinators.  And it’s a lifestyle.

The essence of procrastination is very well reflected in this quote by Bernard Meltzer:

“Hard work is often the easy work you did not do at the proper time.”

Procrastinators tell themselves lies, such as, “I’ll feel more like doing this tomorrow.” Or “I work best under pressure.” In reality they do not get the urge the next day.  In addition, they protect their sense of self by saying “this isn’t important.”

Procrastinators actively look for distractions, particularly ones that don’t take a lot of commitment on their part. Checking e-mail is almost perfect for this purpose or reading the news online.

Maybe you tell yourself you perform better under pressure. Or that you have to be in the right mood at the right time. Or you think that you can’t do anything well unless you’re feeling at the top of your form.  Even though you might not feel like doing a work you still need to make efforts to start. No matter in what mood you are, the more involved you get into your work, the less you are going to think in other problems.

There are many ways to avoid success in life, but the most sure-fire just might be procrastination.  Procrastinators sabotage themselves. They put obstacles in their own path.

So, are you a procrastinator? According to Joseph Ferrari, Ph.D., associate professor of psychology at De Paul University in Chicago, real procrastinators tell themselves five lies.  Answer these questions honestly and see how you measure up.

• Do you overestimate the time they have left to perform tasks.

• Do you underestimate the time it takes to complete tasks.

• Do you overestimate how motivated they will feel the next day, the next week, the next month — whenever they are putting things off to.

• Do you think that succeeding at a task requires that they feel like doing it.

• Do you believe that working when not in the mood is suboptimal.

How did you score?  Next time…why we do or in fact, ‘don’t', do it?

Watching the programme ‘House’ the other night I was struck by a the way Cameran delivered the line “If that’s what you want” to her husband and colleague Chase.  She placed the emphasis on the word ‘you’.  The meaning was clear.  She was making a point about who’s opinion she thought Chase was expressing.  She suspecting (rightly!) that Chase had been manipulated into the opinion by the irrepressible House.  Emphasising ‘you’…she stressed that Chase should be sure it was indeed his opinion and not someoneelses.

It got me thinking about the tone of voice we use and which word we place the emphasis on.  Repeat Cameran’s line to yourself, “If that’s what you want”. Say it five times, each time emphasising a different word.  How does that change the meaning of the sentence.?

When the word ‘if’ is stressed…you sound as though you are questioning the person’s opinion.  It sounds as there is doubt about the surety of the statement, that there is room to maneuver.  When ‘that’ is stressed, its the content that is being questioned…when ‘want’ is stressed, the line sounds confident and strong, with little additional meaning.

When was the last time you made a statement and it was taken the wrong way?  or misunderstood?  Can you remember how you delivered the statement?  Where you placed the emphasis?  It may be that the person on the receiving end read more into the sentence than you meant.  In the above example, placing emphasis on the wrong word might lead the other person to think that their opinions are in doubt.

Think of the type of thing you say in work – practice changing emphasis – what happens?  Here are some examples that can have a very different meaning depending on what word is stressed.  Practice saying them out loud…what happens to the meaning?

• You did that well this time
• Have you read the procedures for this process?
• Is this the result you intended?
• What do you think?
• How’s it going today?
• You seem to be doing a great job
• Tell me what you think about this situation?
• We are glad to have you on our team
• Does this work meet the standard you have set for yourself?
• What can I do to help you?
• Feel free to come to me when you have a question or problem

An additional hint….be careful of raising the pitch and tone towards the end of a sentance.  As we raise our pitch towards the end of a question…using the technique to convey a statement can make you sound less confident, unsure of your position and ulitmately less trustworthy.

In Gone with the Wind, Rhett Butler’s famous line, “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn” was stated with emphasis on the word ‘give’ because it was not deemed appropriate for him to emphasis ‘damn’.  Are there times when you changed emphasis because of how you would sound….how it would be understood??

“You have a need for other people to like and admire you, and yet you tend to be critical of yourself.  I sense that sometimes you are insecure especially with people you don’t know. While you have some personality weaknesses you are generally able to compensate for them.  You have considerable unused capacity that you have not turned to your advantage. You’re having problems with a friend or relative.  At times you have serious doubts whether you have made the right decision or done the right things. You have a box of old, unsorted photographs in your house.  Disciplined and self-controlled on the outside, you tend to be worrisome and insecure on the inside.  You prefer a certain amount of change and cariety and become dissatisfied when hemmed in by restrictions and limitations.  You also pride yourself as an independent thinker and do not accept others’ statements without satisfactory proof.  But you have  found it unwise to be frank in revealing yourself to others.  At times you are extroverted, affable and sociable, while at other times you are introverted, wary and reserved.  Some of your aspirations tend to be rather unrealistic.”

Am I right?  Did you recognise yourself in the above description?

These statements may appear as if they were especially prepared for you alone but if you re-read the paragraph you may find that most of the statements are open-ended, providing some wriggle room for those who seek connections with their own personalities.  Most people fail to see that these type of statements could actually apply to almost anyone.  This is known as the Barnum Effect and it is a type of subjective validation.

As humans we are designed to look for interconnections, for links and meaning – and we find it.  We strive to find meaning or significance, where there may be none at all.  Do you watch ‘Deal or no Deal’?  Do you really think that number 22 is the ‘Deathbox’?  That because you brought a box to the table that means’ something to you, such as your birthdate, you are going to win big.  Yet, in reality you may be experiencing selective memory, only remembering the times when the number was successful and not those (probably numerous) times when it wasn’t.  The game is completely random.

We are very good at relating things to ourselves, in fact it is one of the differences that separate us from all other creatures.  By being programmed to find patterns, links and pictures from a collection of (perhaps) random items can lead us to behave in quite an irrational manner.  Our desire to find meaning, pattern and significance can be very powerful and as much as it is required for our survival….we need to watch for those times when we are creating meaning rather than observing it.

Have you ever behaved irrationally due to the significance you placed on something?  Do you always use the same numbers on the lottery because you believe those numbers to be lucky?  Do you carry a lucky charm?

How many of us speak before we think?

It is true to say that we all say things without first thinking them through. Ever answered an employee’s question only taking that individual employee into consideration and not the very likely probability that, that same employee may recount the conversation to others?

Gerald Ratner had makes jokes about his merchandise previously, just provoking friendly laughter but he didn’t consider the breadth of his audience during a speach to 6000 fellow members of the Institute of Directors in 1991.  He claimed that his stores sold earrings for under a pound, which is cheaper than a prawn sandwich from Marks & Spencer – but probably won’t last as long!  Not content with this he went on to describe his sherry decanters as ‘crap’.

The result? In two minutes the reputation of a company was in tatters, £500 million was wiped from its stock exchange value, Gerald Ratner personally lost £6 million and his £600,000 a year job and the company had to rebrand to try and save themselves from total disaster.

Clearly Ratner did not consider his audience, in particular the fact that the Daily Mirror were present.  When speaking to others we are often thinking of how we will answer them instead of listening carefully to what is being said.  We also, occasionally become so embroiled in what we are doing that we forget the outside world.  We are told that our brain thinks four times faster than we speak….so we use that time to consider what we will say next.  We should be listening to what is being said and considering our reply in relation to not only the current conversation but also in how it will be perceived by others.   If Ratner had taken his audience into consideration, had thought through who was listening and who would potentially hear his comments….he may not have been so quick to make his flip remark.

Learning point – always consider your audience, both immediate and future….and use that wonderful extra thinking time wisely!