The Behaviour Effect

The scarcity principle boils down to this: we want what we’re afraid we can’t have. Fear of losing out on something can be an extremely powerful motivator. Someone or something that’s not available all the time is desirable.

Availability might be threatened by limited quantity, a time deadline, or by competition. Whatever the reason, the item in question becomes more attractive to us if we think we can’t have it. Whether it’s a potential mate, a used car, or an item on sale, once its availability is threatened we WANT it!

Even more interesting is the second way in which scarcity affects our thinking and ultimately our behaviour.  As opportunities become less available, we lose freedom and boy do we loathe to lose freedoms we already have. Psychologist Jack Brehm has been researching this to explain the human response to diminishing personal control – Reactance Theory.

According to the theory, whenever free choice is limited or threatened, the need to retain our freedoms makes us desire them (as well as the goods and services associated with them) significantly more than previously. So when increasing scarcity – or anything else – interferes with our prior access to some item, we will react against the interference by wanting and trying to possess the item more than before.

Along the same lines as scarcity, telling someone that they can’t have something plays even deeper into their greed. You see this all the time at a shop when a child throws a tantrum over something he can’t have.

So how do we use this interesting piece of information about the human psyche?  The first is when providing bonuses to employees or indeed anyone in order to increase their motivation to behave in a desirable way.   We need to be cautious of making the bonus too frequent or too consistently.  If we do use this technique too often then the receiver may well get used to having it…they might even begin to EXPECT it.  And what if they expect it?  Well, if they expect it, then it is no longer working as a motivator.  In fact, if for some reason the bonus does not come, then it will become a huge de-motivator.   Those who were expecting what did not come will feel aggrieved, hard-done-by and angry.  They will spend significant time moaning about what they have not been given..about what they were ‘due’.  It will not cross their minds that they did not receive it because their results were below target.

Advertising companies use the psychology of scarcity all the time: “Limited supply, limited time offer… only 3 left at this price!” If there aren’t many left, you better get yourself one right now or someone else is going to snap it up and you’ll be jealous! We all know how this one works….certainly I’ve fallen to this selling ploy.

Ever heard yourself say about sending a prospective date a text message…”I’ll leave it a few hours, wouldn’t want them to think I’m too keen”…hmmm? or “I mustn’t tell them I’m free at this notice for the weekend, mustn’t make myself too available.”

So what other ways does this principle persuade us to behave or not behave in certain ways?

How can we use this information to change our results?

Procrastinators are made not born. You need to first identify some of your causes of procrastination so you can begin to understand how to overcome it.

Procrastinators can change their behaviour—but doing so consumes a lot of psychic energy.

Knowing why procrastination happens can help us overcome it.

For example, procrastination comes when we think a lot about what we need to do and how difficult is, we start thinking of multiple other thinks we can do or have to do before starting the work. Focusing on a limited number of activities at once can improve your completion success rate.

Therefore, just focus on accomplishing your goals.  Anytime you think of something else you should ask yourself “Is this going to help me accomplish my goal now?”  If not then don’t get sidetracked with that thing and continue with your work.  Seems simple, but focus takes practice and this takes proper engaged focus.

Playing to what we know about human beings may aid our avoidance of procrastination.

As human beings we will always do much more to avoid pain than we will do to gain pleasure.  So, how can we make the procrastination more painful than the task?  If we can focus on the negative consequences of not doing a task then the potential pain may actually motivate us to complete the task.

If being more knowledgeable about the origin of your procrastination, increased self-awareness and focusing on limited goals doesn’t work…then you need some more hints on how to tackle procrastination?

1. Make a list of everything you have to do.

2. Write a statement of intention.

3. Set realistic goals.

4. Break it down into specific tasks.

5. Make your task meaningful.

6. Promise yourself a reward.

7. Eliminate tasks you never plan to do. Be honest!

8. Estimate the amount of time you think it will take you to complete a task. Then increase the amount by 100%.

Once you complete one task, keep that as motivation going. Before you know it, you will have overcome the challenge of procrastination!

Procrastination is not a problem of time management or of planning.  Procrastinators are not different in their ability to estimate time, although they are more optimistic than others.  “Telling someone who procrastinates to buy a weekly planner is like telling someone with chronic depression to just cheer up,” insists Dr. Ferrari, associate professor of psychology at De Paul University in Chicago.

People procrastinate for different reasons.  Below is a brief description of Dr. Ferrari three basic types of procrastinators:

1. Arousal types, or thrill-seekers, who wait to the last minute for the euphoric rush.
2. Avoiders, who may be avoiding fear of failure or even fear of success, but in either case are very concerned with what others think of them; they would rather have others think they lack effort than ability.
3. Decisional procrastinators, who cannot make a decision.

These types highlight some of the common causes as to why people procrastinate.  Though first we need to ask ourselves if we have properly considered the time required to complete a task successfully.  It is procrastination of time management?

Also, there are so many distractions today, not least the social networking sites, that we can easily get sidetracked in to something that we didn’t intend to do or spend considerable time upon

The most common cause of procrastination stem from three key concerns.

What if I do it wrong?

This is a reasonable concern. When we do things wrong, will it be fixable, expensive? But if this is your fear you have a few choices – you can hire someone else to do it for you, you can learn how to do it or you can let it go. Try to see this objectively – without the guilt about what you should do. What makes the most sense? No more procrastination.

What if I make the wrong decision?

Do you realise that in life there is rarely a right or wrong decision? It’s usually more about what is right for the people involved in the situation. With that in mind, we can learn from it when we make the wrong choice and then try again. What feels like the right choice for you? Again, no more procrastination.

What if I fail?

The fear of failure is one common cause of avoiding doing a task. We think of the different problems and weakness we have and how complex the work is. As we think in our mind the complexity of the project, we start thinking of the different reasons why we can’t accomplish it and the many other things that you need to do it.  What if you do fail? Think it through. What will happen if you fail? Often when we procrastinate, the things we tell ourselves reflect epic failure, huge mistakes and earth shattering damages.  Thankfully, most of the time we are wrong in our imaginings.

The next time you see yourself putting something off, take a moment to determine why. Try to address the fear and you may no longer feel the need to procrastinate.

Procrastinators are made and not born. This is good news as because it’s a learned response, and what’s learned can be unlearned.

So, in the next post – how to overcome procrastination….

Ever put something off until tomorrow?  It is a fact that we tend to put off those things which have a negative emotion attached to them.  Perhaps the task at hand is ‘too hard’, will ‘take too long’, is too ‘boring’ or requires ‘too much effort’.  Twenty percent of people identify themselves as chronic procrastinators.  And it’s a lifestyle.

The essence of procrastination is very well reflected in this quote by Bernard Meltzer:

“Hard work is often the easy work you did not do at the proper time.”

Procrastinators tell themselves lies, such as, “I’ll feel more like doing this tomorrow.” Or “I work best under pressure.” In reality they do not get the urge the next day.  In addition, they protect their sense of self by saying “this isn’t important.”

Procrastinators actively look for distractions, particularly ones that don’t take a lot of commitment on their part. Checking e-mail is almost perfect for this purpose or reading the news online.

Maybe you tell yourself you perform better under pressure. Or that you have to be in the right mood at the right time. Or you think that you can’t do anything well unless you’re feeling at the top of your form.  Even though you might not feel like doing a work you still need to make efforts to start. No matter in what mood you are, the more involved you get into your work, the less you are going to think in other problems.

There are many ways to avoid success in life, but the most sure-fire just might be procrastination.  Procrastinators sabotage themselves. They put obstacles in their own path.

So, are you a procrastinator? According to Joseph Ferrari, Ph.D., associate professor of psychology at De Paul University in Chicago, real procrastinators tell themselves five lies.  Answer these questions honestly and see how you measure up.

• Do you overestimate the time they have left to perform tasks.

• Do you underestimate the time it takes to complete tasks.

• Do you overestimate how motivated they will feel the next day, the next week, the next month — whenever they are putting things off to.

• Do you think that succeeding at a task requires that they feel like doing it.

• Do you believe that working when not in the mood is suboptimal.

How did you score?  Next time…why we do or in fact, ‘don’t', do it?

I was recently at a Customer Service workshop and during a conversation on what we expected as customers,  action within reasonable time frames was mentioned.  One of the ladies in the group mentioned that she is forever procrastinating.  She explained that she’ll read documents or emails any number of times before actually dealing with them or replying.

She reminded me of a suggestion I was once given which helps us measure how mad our procrastination of this type is and motivate us to postpone procrastination and act!

“Draw a black dot on a document or email each time you handle it”.

Simple.  Easy.  Effective?

Well, it certainly surprised me how many black dots appeared on my documents.  It was a visual demonstration of ineffective working. And its surprising the effect that mild shame will have on motivation

Procrastination can cause us anxiety, sleepless night…or put us in a perpetual state of catching up.  There is even evidence to suggest that it damages our immune system.  So my interest is pricked and I will be developing this topic over the next few posts.  First I will ask whether you are indeed a procrastinator, next we will examine why we procrastinate and then we will look at ways we can avoid it.

The reasons why we procrastinate are pushing for attention inside my head at the moment but considering the importance of time management on this very topic….I need to complete a more urgent task….so watch this space for the next post…

What happens when you provide someone with feedback?  Do they welcome your comments?  Does it depend on who it is you are providing the feedback to?  What exactly do you feedback to them…their behaviour?  their actions? their attitude?

Many would agree that a person’s attitude has a real and measurable impact on behaviour.  Many managers think that it is the employee’s poor attitude that causes them to produce poor quality work or a good attitude makes a person a better worker.

How would you feel if I told you that it is impossible to observe attitude?

To demonstrate what I mean, lets start with the dictionary definition of  ‘observe’.

Ob-serve

1. to see, watch, perceive, or notice.  “He observed the passerby in the street.”
2. to regard with attention, esp. so as to see or learn something.  “I want to observe her reaction to the judge’s question.”
3. to watch, view, or note for a scientific. official, or other special purpose.  ” To observe an eclipse.”

So how do we observe an attitude?  For example, someone enters a room in a raging temper, obviously incredibly upset and fuming about something that has happened.  Did I observe the raging temper?  Some of you might be saying ‘yes’, but what did I actually observe?  I saw the person enter the room, their face was contorted, they had tight closed fists held stiffly at their sides.  They were walking briskly and were mumbling about something I couldn’t quite make out.

I inferred from my observations that they were in a raging temper.  Inference?  Let’s check the definition.

In-fer

1. to derive by reasoning; conclude or judge from premises or evidence.  ” They inferred form his cool tone of voice”
2. to guess; speculate; surmise
3. to hint; imply,suggest

That inference, the conclusion about the meaning of the observations, says as much about me the observer as it does about the person under observation.  I cannot prove that the person was in a fowl temper, I can only use the specific examples of their behaviour that evidence my conclusions.

So what does this mean?  Why is it important to note this differentiation?

Conclusions about attitude or personality are subjective, and people are very easily offended when their attitude or personality is attacked.  Focusing on your conclusion or judgement of the behaviour very rarely results in improved performance.  In fact, it’s one of the best possible ways to achieve ill feeling.

So what do we do?  You think (due to observations of behaviour) that someone has a bad attitude…how are we to let them know (because without feedback we cannot expect an improvement) without including our own perceptions and judgements?

We concentrate on the observable behaviour.  OK, an example.  You think John has a bad attitude and that it’s affecting the quality of his work.  When providing him with feedback, you need to ask yourself which of his behaviours is causing the problems…his lateness and arguing with his colleagues…and let John know about those, don’t mention attitude.

This way, we avoid building barriers to be heard and provide specific information about behaviour that can be improved.  John can concentrate on being on time, which is measurable rather than be offended and wondering what exactly a bad attitude means.

Remember, feedback is supposed to be helpful.  Determine whether what you want to say will help or not by asking yourself, ” Will my comments be specific enough and non-threatening enough to help them improve?”

Distinguish between what you observe and what you infer… This distinction is very important.

When trying to think of everything that was false Descarte it struck him that the fact that he was thinking proved that he was ’something’.  A truth.  Those who know a little about philosophy will understand that importance of the ‘truth’ debate.  This thought produced the most famous and influential philosophical quotes in the history of Western Philosophy.  The well known Latin form “Cognito ergo sum” or the traditional English translation “I think, therefore I am”.

I was reading about how Descarte came upon this thought when I noticed that the English translation is not in fact how Descarte meant it to be understood.  Being french, he unsurprisingly would have written in french…with the first work that mentions this thought being Discourse on the Method (1637).  The quote – “je pence, donc je suis”, in English “I am thinking, therefore I exist”.

My french is appallingly poor but I read that the quote in french utilises the continuous present tense.  And it is only in this tense that the force of his argument is brought out.

Now, why am I talking about this?  What on earth has this to do with anything that matters in our practical real life?

Descartes was saying that when we are in the process of doing something that we truly exist because in order to do that something, we must ‘be’.   It made me think about how we perceive ourselves and how we describe our behaviour.  To use the tense of the first quote, we have no urgency, no movement…no action.  Whereas in the continuous present tense we are actively progressing towards our goals, involved in life or living in the moment.

It struck me that the latter provides more opportunity for satisfaction and if we concentrated on doing and thinking we would glean benefits.  How many of us when asked what we like to do in our spare time tell others something that we used to do….perhaps still desire to do…maybe even still believe we do….but in actual fact, it’s been a very long time since we did.  Read? Cooked from scratch? Me, I used to paint…and really want to be able to say, ‘In my spare time I am painting a picture’.  I recently bought an easel, some canvas and paints with the intention to become fully absorbed but have not yet gotten around to doing anything.  I could say ” I paint” because I have painted but I cannot say “I am painting” because I have not done so in years and have no half finished painting upstairs… and for the  nit-pickers amongst you…yes I am currently (and in the present tense) writing this post.

How important then is it for us to think in the present tense, the continuous present tense…so we motivate ourselves to be doing things now and in the future.  I wonder what tense we typically use and if it impacts on our accomplishments??

What type of person are you?  What type of humour do you have? What are the stories you tell others about yourself? Do you have a certain way of doing things?  These are the things that make up your personality, various elements which combined are greater than the sum of the parts.

Stories – Past events that you and others tell to provide information about yourself.  That time you got backstage at that rock concert…or when you forgot your keys and ended up with the police thinking you were a burglar…or how you defended your friend in a crowed bar..

Customs and rituals -The way you do things.  Insist on research before booking a holiday…or you must always put masara on before you leave the house…you alwayss have hot chocolate before bed…

Values – What values do you have?  What’s important to you?  How do you prioritise your life?  Always put family first?  What about the work vlaues you have?

Beliefs – What are your beliefs about the world?  Do you believe people are generally good?  DO you think that given half a chance people will take an opportunities to pull the wool over your eyes?

Behaviours – What does your behaviour look like?  Do people comment how you are a good listening?  What about how you behave when someone needs help?  Do you walk to a rhythm?

Symbols – Always carry an item with you that means something?  A photo in your wallet? Do you associate or love a particular item…a friend of mine used to adore elephants and would have lots of elephants everywhere.

All of the above combine to form your personality.  The culture of you so to speak.  You have acquired a body of knowledge about how to behave and this enables everyone else to interpret and understand how to act with you and what type of person you are.

Now think about these things in relation to your family.  What culture does your family have?  What stories are told?  What rituals do you complete?  What shared behaviours and do have?  Christmas is coming, what rituals do you always complete then?  You family is made up of many parts that form a unique whole.  A collective belief that in turn shape behaviour.  We are behave according to our families culture…or at least in their company we do.

In the work context…organisations have culture.  I’m sure you were told stories when you arrived…what happened at the last Christmas do…that time that manager totally lost it….the time you all got out earlier due to a leaking pipe…

You actions within organisations often conform to their culture….without even realising it….

Are you always right? When did you last make a mistake?  Did you apologise?

We are all human and as a result we are all prone to mistakes.  Being a Partner in a large corporate firm or a business owner or someone’s manager does not automatically remove the capability of being in the wrong or handling situations incorrectly. But do we ever admit it?  Are we conscious of not seeming to have made a bad choice?

Do those we work with appreciate more the person who owns up when they are wrong or the person who refuses to admit that there may have been a better and more effective way of doing something?  Naturally, we are hesitate to admit we have made a mistake, we do not want other to form an impression of our incompetence.

Yet, noone can be right all the time.  When we do not take responsibility for our actions then the relationship with have with others is damaged.  The trust leaves.  How different would it have been if President Nixon had quickly apologised for Watergate or if President Clinton had simply owned up and apologised?  When President Kennedy took full responsibilty for the Bay of Pigs disaster, the press didn’t have much to talk about.

Quite apart from the trust issue…apologising for those things we get wrong, deomonstates a certain amount of vulurbilty which can be appealing to those we work with.  They see that other’s make mistakes, recognise them, apologise and vitally, promise to remedy their actions in future.  And when they make a mistake it is much easier to admit to it.  How many problems are made worse by refusal to admit they exist?  If we  demonstrate that making mistakes is OK as long as we identify them and make adjustments accordingly, then those around us will learn that behaviour. And wonderfully, we manage the negative effect of whatever our actions created.

So how do we go about apologising?

Ken Blanchard provides a process in his One Minute Manager book and below are the aspects he describes.

1.  Surrender – Genuine and truthful admittance of having done something wrong and the need to make up for it.  This must include taking full responsibility and any harm that has been done.  Do not make excuses for your actions, an apology has no substance if you include excuses.

2.  Integrity – Recognition that you were wrong and awareness of how this is inconsistent with how you normally behave.  Important is reaffirming that you are better than the behaviour you had demonstrated.

3.  Focus on other person – Recognition of the particular damage or harm you have done the other person.  You need to know what you are apologising for.

4.  Commit to change – An apology means very little unless you commit to not repeating the behaviour.  Why are you apologising if you intend to do exactly the same thing again.  Behaviour change must be identified and agreed to.

In additional to this process I’ve identifed a few other things to consider.

When do you make your apology?  Sometimes the best time is immediate, in fact the sooner you apologise for you mistake the more likely it will be viewed as an error in judgement and not a character flaw.  However, there are occasions when it may be best to let the dust settle a little before apologising.

Be wary of saying “I’m sorry you feel that way”, it can appear as though you are blaming the other person.  Yes, there are occasions when it is the feelings of the other person you are sorry for but if you have made a mistake be sorry for what you did…the actual behaviour.

Don’t forget to express your appreciation for the person and provide explanation (not excuses!) if necessary for what has happened.  You could even ask them if they will give you another chance.  When someone provides us with a genuine apology it is very difficult to respond negatively.  If the apology is fake or filled with excuses..quite often the person will walk away with a poor impression of your behaviour…but having received a full and frank apology…most people will be willing to accept it.  And vitally this places the power firmly with the wronged person.

And finally, if the apology is not accepted, thank them for hearing you out and be patient.  Sometimes people may want to forgive you but just need a little more time to cool off and accept what has happened.  Even if the person has accepted your apology, they may need a little time before they can completely trust you again.  Remember, is you carry out your promise to amend your behaviour in future then you will have proven your sincerity.

Has apologising for your mistakes improved or hindered your relationships?  Or do you not know the answer to that question because you can’t remember the last time you apologised?  If you can remember and your apology was not well received…how did you apologies…did you try to make excuses?

Speaking to a group of folk at a recent networking event, the subject of Body Language popped up.  The subject of non-verbal communciation quite often arises in situations where I’m explaining what I do for gainful employment…and helping others see the importance of understanding human behaviour.  How it arises? Normally, when I say I’m an Occupational Psychologist, someone will make a comment such as ’so do you know what I’m thinking then?’.

Such comments are normally quite light-hearted (perhaps folk think I won’t have heard that particular ‘joke’ before!) and I have a range of ’stock’ answers for certain situations….

e.g. being chatted up by unwanted attention?

answer: “Yes, and it’s not pretty”, “No because I am truly not interested” or “No, that would make me a psychic!”

In this particular situation the conversation veered towards ‘reading’ people’s body language.  Immediately upon hearing me say that you can pick up quite a lot of interesting and important extra information by paying attention to the non-verbals…a lady commented that she doesn’t completely think it’s true as she often stands with her arms crossed…and she knows that is seen as ‘closed’ behaviour….but she claimed that she was simply comfortable like that and it was often the stance she took.

Before I continue to explain what might be happening in the circumstance she described…I feel the need to state that the dismissal of any theory or research due to a lack of understanding of one small element…is probably not the most effective way forward…but I’m being minorly pedantic so I’ll stop and get back to body language!

I believed her when she said she was comfortable standing like that…I don’t doubt she was.  I do doubt she knew the exact reason she was standing like that.  As it’s her ‘normal’ stance then the movement is probably involuntary, or habitual.  My first comment to her and the others standing in our group was that ‘crossing your arms’ is an often cited example of body language but one of the most important points to note about reading body language is to never take any one action alone.  It is necessary to read body language as a whole and not place meaning on an individual action.  If someone is facing away from you…but their feet are pointing directly towards you…it is necessary to take these actions together…and pay attention to any other actions happening.

Usually,when someone crosses their arms, it means that they’re closed for arguments.  They have placed a barrier between themselves and the rest of the world as a means of protection from others.  Protection from words, remarks and glances not simply physical attack.

Another possibility for crossing arms may be that they”re feeling vulnerable or insecure. Crossing your arms is like giving yourself a hug, it’s a comforting gesture.

In both of these meanings, the purpose of crossing your arms is that you feel more in control and are protected in your surroundings.  If you have developed a habit of this particular gesture….it is possible that you don’t realise the reason and think that it is simply the way you normally stand.  In fact the one thing I would expect is  that the person crossing their arms do indeed feel much more comfortable, because their body language matches their emotional state.  In fact the whole point to crossing your arms is to feel more comfortable.  How other’s feel in their company however, or why they are performing the action…may vary.

Remember though, that body signals must always be validated by other body signals. So, if the legs are crossed as well, and the person looks away… then its probably safe to make the assumption that the person’s mind is firmly shut!

Oh and don’t forget the context.  It could just be the cold.  Crossing your arms is an action we undertake when we are cold.  Double check for pulled up shoulders…also an indicator of being cold…or take note of the temperature in the area…

What happens when your body language contradicts what you’re saying?  People may not be able to explain why they believe/disbelieve the words because often these ques are completely unconsious…but they WILL believe the body language!

How does this change your understanding of the behaviour of others?  Your reaction to others?  Their reaction to you?