Archive for the ‘Human Nature’ category

Under pressure?

November 16th, 2009

We all know what happens to our bodies when we are under pressure.  A certain amount can help us perform better, keeping us alert and able to avoid danger.  Too much and the physical effects include, headaches, upset stomach, elevated blood pressure, chest pain, and problems sleeping. The emotional effects include depression and anxiety.

Know what happens to our brains?

Normally, our left and right hemispheres,  which see the world from different perspectives, work very well together.  Under pressure, we focus more on what it is we need to achieve making our left side more active.  Evolutionally very clever because at the point in time when we most need concentration and focus, our brain responds and allow the logical, serious, analytical side to take charge.  However, it is the creative right side of the brain, that permits us to see the bigger picture.  Without the right hemisphere, we become less able to see new and original answers or ways forward.

Result is we begin to struggle with problem solving due to an inability to think of lots of ideas and solutions.  We begin to not be able to see ‘the wood for the trees’ and our self-limiting concepts prevent innovation.

If you’re having difficulty finding an original solution, come away from the problem for a short time.  As difficult as it is to remove yourself from what is important enough to place you under pressure, take a break.  Stop thinking about it so hard, put it on the back burner…go do something else.  Allow the right hemisphere some space to check out some different perspectives and get creative.

Actually, we all know this already don’t we…..we’ve all been in the situation where it was only when we stopped trying so hard that we had a lightbulb burst into light inside our heads.  Something we see, read or hear….engages and suddenly we know what to do??

What we don’t all do already, when we are struggling to find an answer, is….relax!  Remember it was only when Archimedes went for a relaxing soak in the bath that he worked out how to measure volume…and thus solve the problem of whether the kings crown was indeed solid gold.

Thank you, I know I look fabulous!

November 16th, 2009

Female 1 “Those shoes are gorgeous, they look great on you!”

Female 2 “Oh gosh, they are ancient, paid almost nothing for them in a sale…see how the heel needs touching up”

Does this interaction sound familiar?

When did we lose the ability to accept compliments?  Did we ever?  When receiving positive feedback we all too often assume that the person is ‘just being nice’, they are pitying us or they are trying to get into our ‘good books’.

According to psychologist Phillip Hodson, the British have never known how to take a compliment because it goes against our need to be modest, or at least appear to be modest.  How many of us wear raised on sarcasm, sibling teasing or ‘ribbing’ from school mates?  From an early age we are told not to boast about ourselves for fear of appearing arrogant.

Quite  from accepting the compliment and gaining positive feelings from the flattery we are being incredibly rude.  When we refuse to accept a compliment, dismiss it, we are basically telling the compliment giver that their opinion is stupid…that we do not value their thoughts or opinions.
Next time you receive a compliment, smile broadly and say ‘Thank you’.  The person who provided the compliment will be thrilled that you were pleased and may even pay you additional compliments in the future!

I sense that you…

November 16th, 2009

“You have a need for other people to like and admire you, and yet you tend to be critical of yourself.  I sense that sometimes you are insecure especially with people you don’t know. While you have some personality weaknesses you are generally able to compensate for them.  You have considerable unused capacity that you have not turned to your advantage. You’re having problems with a friend or relative.  At times you have serious doubts whether you have made the right decision or done the right things. You have a box of old, unsorted photographs in your house.  Disciplined and self-controlled on the outside, you tend to be worrisome and insecure on the inside.  You prefer a certain amount of change and cariety and become dissatisfied when hemmed in by restrictions and limitations.  You also pride yourself as an independent thinker and do not accept others’ statements without satisfactory proof.  But you have  found it unwise to be frank in revealing yourself to others.  At times you are extroverted, affable and sociable, while at other times you are introverted, wary and reserved.  Some of your aspirations tend to be rather unrealistic.”

Am I right?  Did you recognise yourself in the above description?

These statements may appear as if they were especially prepared for you alone but if you re-read the paragraph you may find that most of the statements are open-ended, providing some wriggle room for those who seek connections with their own personalities.  Most people fail to see that these type of statements could actually apply to almost anyone.  This is known as the Barnum Effect and it is a type of subjective validation.

As humans we are designed to look for interconnections, for links and meaning – and we find it.  We strive to find meaning or significance, where there may be none at all.  Do you watch ‘Deal or no Deal’?  Do you really think that number 22 is the ‘Deathbox’?  That because you brought a box to the table that means’ something to you, such as your birthdate, you are going to win big.  Yet, in reality you may be experiencing selective memory, only remembering the times when the number was successful and not those (probably numerous) times when it wasn’t.  The game is completely random.

We are very good at relating things to ourselves, in fact it is one of the differences that separate us from all other creatures.  By being programmed to find patterns, links and pictures from a collection of (perhaps) random items can lead us to behave in quite an irrational manner.  Our desire to find meaning, pattern and significance can be very powerful and as much as it is required for our survival….we need to watch for those times when we are creating meaning rather than observing it.

Have you ever behaved irrationally due to the significance you placed on something?  Do you always use the same numbers on the lottery because you believe those numbers to be lucky?  Do you carry a lucky charm?

Someone is watching you

November 13th, 2009

How much of an impact do you believe someone watching you has on your behaviour?  Does it matter who is watching?

Research completed by Newcastle university demonstrated that people put almost 3 times the amount of money into an honesty box for hot drinks when the poster with prices featured eyes rather than flowers.

As humans, our brains are programmed to recognise faces and even though the eyes were only on a poster, it still had the effect of modifying behaviour.  Those purchasing drinks had the feeling they were being watched so they were more likely to place anhonest amount in the honesty box.

The perception on the public of being watched clearly had an impact on their behaviour.

How can this research be used?  Can we apply this knowledge in organisations or in the public arena?

Inattention

November 12th, 2009

Ever been distracted?  What was it that distracted you?  What was the consequence?

It is one of the easiest things in the world to become distracted.  To not pay full attention to what we are doing at any one point in time.  We have other things on our mind.  Something catches the corner of our eye.  We are preoccupied with our preconceived beliefs.  We are not paying full attention because we don’t value the act/action in our schema. This ‘noise’ can have an impact on our behaviour and ultimately our success.

Harry Houdini was a talented escape artist.  A performer who was very concerned with putting on a show for his audience.  It might surprise you to learn that not only was he a magician and escape artist…he was also the first person to fly an aeroplane in Australia, to create a new diving suit, to start a movie company…and he was the man that was so impressed by how az certain Joseph Keaton managed to fall downstairs that he called him ‘Buster’.

You would think that a man with these talents wouldn’t let his guard drop.  His concentration must be complete.  Yet when he suffered from stomach pains, he refused to go to the doctor.  Distracted by  not wanting to let his audience down, keen to continue with his performances.  Then, in his dressing room, a student punched him in the stomach. Houdini had long prfessed his abiltiy to withstand blows but he was not prepared for this one.  He didn’t have time to tense his muscles.  A week later, he collapsed on stage.  Six days later he died from peritonitis, caused by appendicitis and the stomach punch.

The ‘noise’ that distracted Houdini comprised of the desire not to disappoint his audience, his fear of losing his popularity, his keeness not to return to the poor situation of his childhood, his drive, his ambition…his male thoguht processes that told him to ignore the stomach pains, to not go to the doctor…and of course, not paying attention to the student who decided to test the magician’s claim.

What ‘noise’ distracts us from giving complete attention to our actions? How does the ‘noise’ that distracts us impact our behaviour and ultimately our success?

Behind the mask

November 9th, 2009

Were you at a Halloween Party?  Was it a costume party? Did you wear a mask?

Personally I can’t stand masks.  I’ve always had a bit of a fear of someone in a mask.  Very disconcerting I think.   Not being able to see the facial expression.  Or work out what the person is thinking or feeling.  My friends thought me highly amusing as I cringed and switched the TV programme over when Bo Selecta came on.  I just didn’t find him funny.  And it wasn’t the humour, it was the mask.  I just couldn’t get past the fact that I couldnt see what his face was saying.

How did you feel in your mask for Halloween?  Did you feel like a different person?  Did you enjoy having a different persona for the evening?  How did you feel speaking to people who were wearing masks?

In actual fact, we all wear masks everyday.  Not plastic physical masks but the ‘social mask’ that hides our true feelings or thoughts.  We have the ‘professional mask’ we wear at work….not wanting to provide many clues as to how we are feeling in case our colleagues think less of us, or believe that we cannot be competent due to other factors.  We put up a pretense that all is good so that others will not get the ‘wrong’ idea.  In the Johari window our facade is a section of ourselves that we know but other’s don’t.  This is the section, which encourages us to engage in games-playing, trickery, and the like.  The larger this section, the less chance we have of developing truly meaningful and open relationships with others because such relationships are usually based heavily on trust.  Here, the hidden agenda resides.

Do other people’s masks work or do you instinctively know they are hiding something or telling ‘white lies’?

Obviously we need to provide a certain level of professionalism in our work life but if we continuously hide behind a mask then how are others to know anything real about us.  We know that understanding each others stresses and strains can make for a more beneficial relationship yet we are scared to reveal this side of us.  We cry ‘Noone understands!’.  We dislike the assumptions people make about us.  Does wearing our professionalism mask prevent others from correctly dealing with us?

Are there people in your life who you would really love to know better?  Do you ever wish that someone would drop the mask so that you knew what was really going on?  How would our behaviour change if we all dropped our masks?

Seat stealing

November 6th, 2009

Two men at a seminar.  One returns to his seat to find the other man sitting there. They insult each other. Throw coffee and water over each other. Then resort to pushing and punching.   Police called.  Men arrested.  Courtroom battle ensues.

This is a true story in the news today!

Witnesses claim that it was the original owner of the seat that was the aggressor in terms of the way he spoke to the other man.  Yet, noone has mentioned that the act of taking someone else’s seat is in itself an act of aggression.  Obviously there is no excuse for either verbal or physical abuse but how can such a seemingly simply act of taking a seat, when there are 100′s free, cause such uproar?  Surely, he should just have taken another seat if his was now occupied?  Why did he react with such anger? There may be other factors at play, perhaps the man who had his seat stolen was irritable for others reasons, perhaps his emotions were already pricked.  Yet it was the act of his seat being taken that made him explode.

As humans, we can be very protective of our territory.  Even when we ‘hot desk’ in the workplace, people tend to sit down at the same place every day.  Do you hot desk? Ever came into work and there was someone sitting in your usual spot?  How did you feel?

What does this mean for workplace dynamics?  How can we ensure people do not feel usurped?